Thursday, July 28, 2005

R.I.P. my Variety.com scam

Once upon a time, in the days before Pop Whore, Eti and I created what we considered to be the definitive list of Jewish things vs. Goyish things. Here it is if you've never seen it. One item on the list was "Variety is Jewish; Entertainment Weekly is Goyish." This is true. Variety gives you the hard facts about who's doing what and how much money it's going to cost, whereas EW gushes about fashion and trends and where's Samuel L. Jackson's career going, really? Don't get me wrong -- EW is fun to read, especially when there's nothing else to do, and occasionally they have some good stuff. But if you actually want to know what's going on, you need Variety.

Once upon a time, I could read the print edition of Variety every day because I worked in the Industry, and in the Industry everyone subscribes to it no matter how pathetic they are. That guy in the apartment next to you with the paper sign on his door that says "Bob Nickerson Productions" -- yeah, he's a subscriber, I assure you. However, I work in a different place now, and there are no issues of Variety lying around everywhere -- just lots of glossy magazines about what's going on around campus. So I now need the Internet to get my Variety fix. Variety.com lets you get a 2-week trial subscription for free, and you get full access to the site until it expires. And you can keep signing up for these indefinitely, because they never verify your e-mail address. I started doing that a while back, and eventually an amazing thing happened -- the site gave up on me. After I'd done about 9 free trial subscriptions in a row, the tenth one never expired. It went on for months. And months. And months. Normally, accessing the site for that long would cost you just shy of an iPod. But it was free for me. I was the guy who beat the system.

Could it last forever? No. I logged in one day and got the dreaded "Select a subscription plan" screen, meaning: pay up or shut up. Grudgingly, I signed up for yet another free trial with another email address. And after another 2 weeks, it expired.

The gravy train has left the station and I'm not on it. Maybe after another 10 free trials I'll finally catch up with it again.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The very first Pop Whore quiz

In the spirit of making things a little more interactive here, I've decided it's time for a short quiz. How well do you know your favorite bloggers/podcasters? (That is to say, us -- or in this case, Eti specifically.)

Here's the question. Submit your answers to popwhoremail@gmail.com and include your name, and we'll see what happens from there. Maybe you'll get a prize, or maybe we'll just mention you on the next show. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Anyway, here's the question.

Last night at the drugstore, I saw that some cereal is having a promotion where you can send in 5 box tops and get a free DVD. There are 8 movies to choose from. Can you figure out which two Eti has in her collection? One should be pretty obvious; correctly guessing the second one may require a little more cleverness and/or replaying of old podcasts.

The movies, with requisite IMDB links:

Agent Cody Banks
It Runs in the Family
Hackers
12 Angry Men
Honeymoon in Vegas
Return to Me
Baby Boom

Good luck!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Bunnypiece Theatre

Do you like movies?
Do you like bunnies?
Do you like 30 second movie re-enactments performed by bunnies?

Then check out Angry Alien Productions

Friday, July 22, 2005

Oh, Fug!

Well, it seems my little Kahlen got fugged.

Personally, I don't know about the gold belt, but I'm glad to see that the little black shoulderless tube top thingy she wore during the show is still alive and well.

Also, to you haters out there who thought that my comparing Elsie to Kahlen in the RandomCast was anything more than a commentary on girls with insecurities who are really a lot better off than they think, to you I say this:

I would NEVER let Elsie eat grapes out of my mouth!

Kahlen, on the other hand, gets to choose the time, place and variety of grape.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Podcast Must Go On

And tonight it did, finally. Topics covered include the new Paul Anka rock cover album, cancellation of The Inside, which movies Julie Warner was or was not topless in, and of course, further discussion of Hell's Kitchen.

Download Episode 7: The RandomCast right here.

Then, use the comment link below to post your objections, overrulings, closing statements, and great new show ideas for Fox to hype, air, and then cancel.

UPDATE: a PDF file of the awesome party playlist we were talking about can be downloaded right here.

Fear not, for we are back

Not that we ever really left -- I mean, we've been blogging pretty regularly (see below). But we acknowledge that it's been quite some time since we recorded a podcast. And it's really been quite some time since we recorded a podcast with just the two of us. Since we are clearly the most lovable (and, let's face it, sexiest) podcasting team in the universe, we can accept that it's been an act of cruelty to leave our audience hanging lo these many weeks.

But our unkind neglect ends tonight. We have plenty to talk about and our latest ramblings will be MP3-ized and uploaded by Thursday morning.

Now get off that 25th story window ledge (even though the WiFi signal to your laptop is probably really good up there) and get ready to spend some quality headphone time with us.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Resurrecting the "Dead"

The bittersweet part of falling in love with a television show is having to grapple with those shitty feelings you get in your stomach when it comes to an end.

The worst part about falling in love with a television show is having to grapple with those shitty feelings you get in your stomach when it dies an early death for no apparent reason other than the fact that some schmuck thought it would be good for the network and murders it in cold blood.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, new president of entertainment at Showtime, Robert Greenblatt!

I hope canceling “Dead Like Me” will haunt you forever. I hope one day you’ll be forced to watch nothing but reruns of “Fat Actress” and “Huff” while eating Spam smothered with maggot spread. That’s how hard you blow.

Yeah, you and your fellow Viacom a-holes at UPN, who thought that it would be a good idea to cancel “Veronica Mars.” (But at least they gave us a chance to save the show.) You just let it go without renewing it and therefore, suck ass.

With that said, the second (and last) season of “Dead Like Me” is being released on DVD tomorrow. If you’re a fan of the show, you’ll understand. If you’ve never seen the show, you should go out and get it. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed. I will even come to your house to watch it with you. You provide the dark chocolate and I’ll provide the spoons. It also helps if you're hot.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!

In this wonderful age of multitasking, everyone has a hobby or ten. One of mine happens to be sharks. Growing up in Tel-Aviv, with the piss warm waters of the Mediterranean blocks from my apartment, I watched "Jaws" on video for the first time and fell in love. My mom, on the other hand, became deathly afraid of the water, which of course marked opening day of the underwater-mom-leg-grabbing Olympics.

It escalated from there. I pretty much read or watched anything and everything shark-related that I could get my hands on. I still do. And yes, I sat through "Jaws: The Revenge." Which, by the way, has an awesome banana boat scene that totally makes the movie worthwhile.
So grab some chum and set your TiVos kiddies because Shark Week starts today on the Discovery Channel.

Also, the best thing about sharks, is that if you love them, they will love you back.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Another Thursday of quality TV

Yeah, I spent an exciting half-hour channel-surfing between the Beauty and the Geek reunion show, and Joey. The regular B&TG wasn't a bad show -- not good, exactly, but not bad -- but there's really no such thing as a good reunion show. I can see how it might be fun for the contestants themselves to relive their classic televised moments together, but for the rest of us it's about as exciting as watching a crew of FedEx guys discuss their past week's deliveries.

And really, shut up, Joey. Shut up and go away and don't come back until you can get a joke out of something other than Drea De Matteo's boobs.

This would be a good time to note that I didn't really choose to watch either of these shows; I was sharing the couch with Tita and she had eminent domain over the Tivo remote. (Which is, technically, totally my Tivo remote, but I'm a nice guy. Sometimes.)

Blaaaaaaaaaah!

I think it's very, very safe to say - FUCK THE EMMY AWARDS. And if you have to ask, then maybe you should be reading something else.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Seven-of-nine-of-twelve-steps

On the heels of the news that the O.C. will start months earlier than we'd expected comes word that Jeri Ryan will be joining the cast as a fellow rehabber who befriends Kirsten. This marks an interesting career turn for Ms. Ryan, who used to specialize in teenage boy lock-the-bathroom-door roles: first a hot alien with requisite skintight outfit on Star Trek: Voyager, then a Van Halen video-esque teacher on Boston Public.

Anyway, now we can speculate as to the nature of the friendship that will develop between Kirsten and Jeri. Will Jeri be the hopelessly screwed-up wretch who makes Kirsten realize that her life is really pretty darn good? The spunky party girl who pulls her off the wagon for midnight trips to the watering hole down the street? Or maybe even the hyper-religious fanatic who can't stop talking about how liquor is the devil's blood and they're both going to hell unless they can bleed out the remnants, and just wait over here while I sharpen my stiletto heel on the windowsill? (Okay, that last one probably belongs on The Inside, but oh right they CANCELLED THAT.)

I guess we'll have to stay tuned.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

FOX: The Bane Of My TiVo

The people over at the FOX network are learning...well, sort of.

FOX just announced the fall premiere dates for the new season and I’m quite chuffed to say that we’re less than two months away from Marissa’s word-swallowing extravaganza and the ever-promising “Reunion,” in which we’re actually supposed to believe that a group of high school friends (played by 20-something actors) are meeting up for their 20th high school reunion?! Yeah, I don’t get it either, but turning twenty-seven next month isn’t looking so bad anymore.

This is great and all, but why couldn’t Fox do this back in my X-File days? Why did those bastards make me sit through the World Series more times than I can imagine, which would’ve been okay if the show had actually lived up to it’s first five, possibly six, seasons? Yeah, FOX! I sat through five games in 2000, seven games in 2001 and another seven in 2002 for three shitty, laughable sub-par seasons.

And what do I get for my loyalty you ask? They cancel “The Inside.”

Friday, July 08, 2005

Semi Live Blogging : A Day At The Office

Since Nick is on his way to some hardcore Russian Catholic wedding or something in Indiana and I have no one to IM with, I figured I'd attempt to kill the boredom by pretending to IM all day.

7:04 a.m. - Ahhh. Nice and quiet.

8:12 a.m. - Dude. Yeah? Ah know! Awesome! Word.

8:25 a.m. - My boss is out today and really I don’t feel like doing any work. This past week totally kicked my ass. Let’s pray for a nice relaxing day.

8:26 a.m. - I’m bored. This sucks.

9:15 a.m. - Hey, I actually managed to get some work done.

9:37 a.m. - Oooh, we just got three crank calls. It was a breather! Ew! I know! Who the F crank calls a law firm?

9:57 a.m. - Frick, I forgot my book! Maybe Randy can bring it by later.

10:11 a.m. - Just talked to Randy. He might bring me my book. Super.

10:27 a.m. - Time for some white-ass-milky-coffee. BRB.

10:55 a.m. - Oh man, WTF! Not Felicity! This totally sucks ass.

11:01 a.m. - Damn, yo. Time to do some more work.

11:03 a.m. - I just checked my email for the 8th time today. Also, 7 people visited the blog so far. I think two of them were me. Meh.

11:09 a.m. - BRB. Copies.

11:13 a.m. - Ok, back.

11:14 a.m. - So Randy and I went to CPK last night and then we went to Coldstone for a shake. I am now a watermelon Jolly Rancher away from being a full blown diabetic. Speaking of...Randy’s mom bought us like 4 bags of defective Jelly Belly’s called “Belly Flops.” Yes, my ass just got a little bigger.

11:17 a.m. - Robert just IM’d me. He shaved off his beard last night because it made him look homeless. He also finds it’s funny that the girls have to work while the boys stay home. Not right.

11:22 a.m. - Stealth.

12:06 p.m. - Dude! They’re releasing a director’s cut of “Mulholland Drive” with extra scenes.

12:08 p.m. - Just kidding.

12:08 p.m. - Yeah, yeah. I know I suck.

12:19 p.m. - Look, I said I was sorry! God!

12:23 p.m. - You going to lunch? Cool. Okay then, ttyl.

12:51 p.m. - I’m going to bug Rossanna now.

12:58 p.m. - Oh man, she’s going for Greek food while I’m stuck at my desk eating old Wheat Thins and getting office butt. Quite tasty, though. The Wheat Thins, not office butt.

1:09 p.m. - Now I’m reading up on Mount Rushmore because I never really gave it much thought until this very moment of insane boredom.

1:10 p.m. - “Between 1927 and 1941, Gutzon Borglum and 400 workers sculpted the 60-foot busts of Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln to represent the first 150 years of American history.”

1:11 p.m. - And.......scene!

1:23 p.m. - Sweet! Randy just brought me my book, my Entertainment Weekly and a power bar. I’m all set. He also kissed me with chap stick on. Yuck.

1:37 p.m. - Damn yo. Client on the phone.

2:19 p.m. - Email check.

2:25 p.m. - Blog check. 12 people. Meh again.

2:29 p.m. - All the movies coming out today totally suck. All the movies coming out period totally suck. Yeah, tell me about it.

2:32 p.m. - So, I watched like 15 minutes of “Kept” last night and I had to keep reminding myself to stop watching reality shows. Then I remembered that I have to set TiVo to record “The Princes of Malibu.”

2:32 p.m. - Billy Corgan is a pretentious little shit. Gross.

2:36 p.m. - Time to go back to reading “A Long Way Down.”

2:41 p.m - I hope to get really good at using “fuck-all.”

2:42 p.m. - Fuck All Attempt# 1: “If you think I’ve got fuck-all better to do with my time than sit here and pretend to IM, you’re bloody deluded! Piss off you shitty little wanker.”

3:19 p.m. - Dear Lord, make me a bird, so I can fly far; far, far away from here.

3:37 p.m. - Damn, I loves me some Photoshop.

3:41 p.m. - My dad just called. Our conversation lasted exactly 6 seconds.

4:08 p.m. - Guess I’ll give my mom a call.

4:19 p.m. - Dinner plans for tonight all set. Dinner plans for next Shabbat dinner next Friday all set too. Jewish moms rock.

4:31 p.m. - Current songs on OCD repeat: “Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl” by Broken Social Scene and “Trolleywood” by Eisely. Awesome.

4:36 p.m. - I just did the robot.

4:38 p.m. - Blog check. 13 visitors. 0 comments. Boooo!

4:42 p.m. - Too bad the ceiling tiles don’t have holes to count like in high school.

4:45 p.m. - Fuck All Attempt #2: It would’ve been nice if my friends were on IM since I pretty much had fuck-all to do today.

4:48 p.m. - I’ve got 5 episodes of “Murphy Brown” and the two hour episode of “The Inside” on TiVo to catch up on. Rad.

4:52 p.m. - Never did end up reading my book. I suck.

4:53 p.m. - Time for me to fly. Have a nice weekend...ttyl...peace out.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Why the Netflix guys will never go hungry

Netflix, as you all know, is one of those very very select few internet ideas (like eBay, Google, or porn) that actually made money and still does.

You know why? I do.

It's the damned queue. As soon as you sign up, you're encouraged to pile as many movies onto your queue as possible. I think they let you hold something like 300 on there. In other words, you could sign up, give them your credit card, spend about half an hour choosing a few hundred flicks, and then never log into the website again, because every time you send something back they're just going to send the next thing on your queue.

The queue is a brilliant idea. It's well-organized and easy to use. More than that, it's seductive. There's no holding up two movies in the video store and having to decide which one you're taking home. You can have them both, as well as the entire first season of Nip/Tuck, as well as almost every Bjork concert ever filmed. You just toss them into the queue and forget about them.

There's a problem, though. The queue is so great, so enticing, that the movies you have on it look a whole lot better than they do in real life. Having a movie on your queue actually shipped to you is like getting the same haircut that your favorite actor/actress had in that one movie where he/she looked really hot. It's nice, but it just doesn't look the same on you (or in your DVD player).

I'll probably keep Netflix forever because I have about 50 movies in my queue and I'm psyched about every one of them. Really, they're all awesome. I, um, can't wait to watch them.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy 4th! How 'bout a podcast?

I don't know any better way to celebrate the anniversary of our nation's declaration of independence than with a mojito-fueled group podcast the night before. Yes, that's right - group podcast. A total of 7 of us contributed to this one (8 if you count the cat), and the result was (I daresay) pretty awesome. But don't take my word for it; download the sucker yourself and see what you think.

Click here to download Pop Whore Episode 6: The Semi-Drunken FoodCast!

And use the comment link below to post your musings, questions, post-feminist rants, and hilarious "oh, that's why firecrackers are illegal in most states" anecdotes.