Snap Judgment: Arrrrrrr, junkies!

Can a double espresso counteract my post-awesome-Hollywood-Bowl-show tiredness enough to do a decent whaling on this week's movies? I guess we'll find out soon enough.


A Scanner Darkly (sci-fi, rated R, written/directed by Richard Linklater, from the novel by Philip K. Dick)

So this movie uses the rotoscope animation process, previously used by Linklater a few years ago in Waking Life. Except nobody saw that (including me, though Eti has the DVD I think), so let me rephrase the statement slightly: This movie uses the rotoscope animation process, previously used in the totally awesome video for "Take On Me." Yeah! Now we're making progress. Unfortunately, I must now break the news that, as far as I know, a-ha is featured nowhere in this particular film. In fact, I think it's unlikely that the movie contains any Norwegians at all: it was all filmed in Texas over the summer, and that kind of weather just isn't friendly to anyone with Scandinavian-derived skin. Too bad. Because quite frankly, a drugged-out Woody Harrelson and Robert Downey Jr. don't even come close to the entertainment value of a bunch of freaky-looking mechanic guys with goggles and wrenches. Also, the music in Scanner was apparently composed by some guy named Graham Reynolds, who probably has all kinds of pretentious artistic-music-guy aspirations and would never even dream of using, say, a slightly fuzzy drum machine layered over a dozen or so keyboard tracks. Anyway, to close on a more interesting note, I'll paste in a helpful passage from the Wikipedia entry on a-ha. "The origin of the name a-ha comes from the title of an early song (The Juicyfruit Song). After checking dictionaries in several languages, they found out that "a-ha" was an international way of expressing recognition, with positive connotations. It was short, easy to say and unusual."



Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (big-budget scurvy, rated PG-13, directed by Gore Verbinski, written by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio)

I want to know whose idea it was to put Keira Knightley in a pirate outfit. Because, while I adore this person, I also fear that he or she might have enough other ideas like that to slowly relieve me of all the money I have. Sure, this one's only $10, but like a good drug dealer they'll charge me more and more as their confidence in my repeat business increases. By the time they come out with the "Evan Rachel Wood in an all-girls prep school in the winter" product, I'll be forced to pawn my computer, TV, and probably a kidney or two to afford the $1500 ticket. But that's a long way off, so in the meantime I'll do my best to enjoy this movie, even as I continue to stand in disbelief over how giving Jerry Bruckheimer even more money than usual could ever result in something remotely watchable.

That's it! Sorry, I can't really say anything about Strangers With Candy, except that I'm sure it's very funny if you're into that sort of thing.