Snap Judgment Special Edition: June 6, 2006 -- I mean, 6-6-06!

The Omen (bloody apocalypse thingy, rated R, directed by John Moore, written by David Seltzer)

Nice try, 20th Century Fox... thought you could evade a Snap Judgment by sneaking your movie in on a Tuesday? Try again. I do have to admire the boldness of your marketing campaign, though. I can only imagine how that came about.

INT. FOX BOARDROOM - DAY

A couple of FOX EXECUTIVES sip their soy chai lattes and furtively eye the boxes of Krispy Kremes scattered throughout the table.

SENIOR EXEC: So what's the script again?

JUNIOR EXEC: It's called The Omen, it's a remake of the classic 1976 apocalyptic thriller that starred--

SENIOR EXEC [to assistant]: Netflix that for me. [to Junior Exec] So who can we get? Tom? Brad? [silence] Lohan?

JUNIOR EXEC: They're not available.

[Awkward silence. One of the Senior Execs cracks open a Krispy Kreme box.]

JUNIOR EXEC: We've tracked down a couple of possibilities, though.

SENIOR EXEC [with mouth full of Original Glazed]: I've got lunch at Geisha House in twenty-two seconds. Let's hear it.

JUNIOR EXEC: Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles.

SENIOR EXEC: Oy. How the fuck do we sell them?

JUNIOR EXEC: Well, I think the strength of the material really supersedes any fancy marketing gimmicks. The director has some exciting ideas for how to incorporate recent world events into the fabric of the narrative, and furthermore--

SENIOR EXEC: Six Six Zero Six.

JUNIOR EXEC: I'm sorry?

SENIOR EXEC: That's the plan. June 6, 2006. Scary. We'll blanket the town in billboards. Everyone'll think they're gonna die. Don't mention the cast.

JUNIOR EXEC [checks watch]: That's twelve weeks away. We were planning this for first quarter 2007.

SENIOR EXEC [slowly]: Six. Six. Zero Six.

JUNIOR EXEC: Also, that's a Tuesday.

SENIOR EXEC [grabbing another donut and leaving]: Get some custard-filled ones next time.