Snap Judgment: Who will save the world from fashion and fuel efficiency?

On the eve of 4th of July weekend, which of these fine films will you choose to spend your hard-earned entertainment dollar on? None of them? You'd rather sit five feet away from your brother-in-law's grill breathing charcoal fumes and spraying your other family members with that decade-old Super Soaker that probably has eight generations of spider eggs in the tank? Well, vaya con Dios, then! Otherwise, here's the selection.



The Devil Wears Prada (comedy with trendy shoes, rated PG-13, directed by David Frankel, written by Aline Brosh McKenna from the novel by Lauren Weisberger)

I'm glad that Meryl Streep still gets her name above Anne Hathaway's. Because sometimes these days, you find people on the same line who really don't belong on the same line. But I'm getting sidetracked. (And I'm not trying to diss Ms. Hathaway here; I even saw Ella Enchanted... I mean, I knew someone who saw it and said it was pretty good.) This movie also features Emily Blunt as the British chick. Eti and I know her from the disappointing girl-crush movie My Summer of Love, in which she also played the British chick, although referring to her that way in a British movie could get confusing. I guess that's why when British actresses achieve any measure of success in British films, they must immediately move to L.A. so they can coast on the "British chick" thing for as long as possible before someone else moves in. (Right, Keira?)



Superman Returns (rated PG-13, directed by Bryan Singer, written by Michael Dougherty & Dan Harris)

Did you ever used to get "Superman" by Five for Fighting confused with "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down? I sure did. Both of the bands even have numbers in their name, for god's sake! Why did they do that to us? Anyway, this film and Devil Wears Prada are really the only two movies competing for box office money this weekend (yeah, there's the electric car one, but, like, only smart people will see that, so it doesn't really count), and that's referred to as "counterprogramming," wherein you have two movies coming out at the same time that are completely different and appeal to totally separate audiences. Except, that's not really the case. I'd say they're more or less the same movie. Indulge me, if you will?

SETTING

Superman: Metropolis (essentially, New York City)
Devil Wears Prada: New York City

MAIN CHARACTER

Superman: "Chosen one" who attempts to fight evil and also pursue journalism
DWP: Jewish girl (which, Eti will be happy to tell you, means one of the Chosen People) who attempts to fight an evil editor and also pursue journalism

VILLAIN

Superman: Crazy megalomaniac with a crystal fetish
DWP: Crazy megalomaniac with a shoe fetish

VILLAIN'S MAIN FLUNKY PLAYED BY...

Superman: Indie-queen Parker Posey
DWP: Indie-king Stanley Tucci

FEMALE EYE CANDY PROVIDED BY...

Superman: Blandly good-looking James Marsden
DWP: Blandly good-looking Adrian Grenier

SUSPICIOUSLY VAGUE CONNECTION WHICH PROVES I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS AND SHOULD END THIS LIST NOW:

Superman: Brandon Routh appeared on MTV's "Undressed"
DWP: Anne Hathaway appeared in Havoc, in which she "got undressed"



Who Killed The Electric Car? (documentary, rated PG, written/directed by Chris Paine)

Ah, another one of these classic "whodunit" films! I was just going to say that it's been far too long since we've had a good one. Of course, in constructing a movie like this, a filmmaker walks a very fine line because in hundreds of years of mysteries we've seen pretty much every imaginable plot twist and surprise ending. Then again, that can also work to your advantage: an audience today might assume you'd never make the butler be the killer, so they'll still be surprised when you reveal that he is. Still, just to make sure the audience isn't a step ahead, you want to put some kind of twist on the twist -- you know, like they did in Clue. (Best singing telegram scene ever, by the way.)

Oh, wait a minute. This is a documentary? That means the guy didn't even know in advance who was going to kill the car! Wow, that's gutsy. Because if it turned out to be the most obvious suspect, that really would have sucked cinematically. Or if the car had an identical twin, and it was really the twin who was murdered, and then the car shows up like 10 minutes before the end? Yeah, we've seen that one way too many times. Well, I guess I'll be cautiously optimistic about this one. All I'm saying is, it better not be another Blair Witch Project.