Marissa Cooper Graduates, Dies

Marissa Cooper is dead! Dead!


We’ve prayed for this moment for so long, but now that it’s finally come (and thankfully, gone rather quickly), I wish I could tell you that I’m thrilled...but oddly enough, I’m a little sad.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I’m going to miss Mischa Barton’s spectacular displays of awkward screaming and pool-furniture throwing. But I really am.

Mischa Barton’s craptastic “acting” was the only reason to even entertain watching the show each week. Well, that and the Television Without Pity recaps; but they sort of go hand in hand.

Those of you who have followed this blog and podcast for long enough know that Nick and I turned mocking Mischa Barton / Marissa Cooper into an art-form. But this past season of The OC sucked so hard, that I was barely able to bring myself to watch more than a handful of episodes to perfect my craft. However, if you followed season two, you’d realize that the ultimate downfall and suck was inevitable.

Personally, I blame the demise of the show strictly on the fact that the producers made the fatal mistake of getting rid of Alex. (Not to mention that they totally blew the whole Marissa/Summer step-sister stuff this year.)

Alex was Marissa’s only saving grace. With the (usual) exception of (Pop Whore favorite) Evan Rachel Wood (on Once and Again), Olivia Wilde should’ve been given the Nobel Peace Prize for making Mischa Barton tolerable and dare I say, even likable. Granted, Mischa Barton was still able to reach her quota of maximum suckage through her horrible kissing and ultimate alienation of Alex, but at least it was fun while it lasted.

Watching Mischa Barton on The OC is like watching the first half season of Lost. Both suck hard and are completely laughable. Yet both are commended in article upon article and review upon review as being oh-so great. Personally, I like to refer to them as an allegory of The Emperor’s New Clothes. I’m still waiting for someone to call Lost out for what it really is...a completely asinine show with no point whatsoever. It’s the greatest scam on TV. I despise the fucking show and I feel it is my duty to scream from the rooftops, “People, don’t buy into it!!!”

Anyway, once Lost got rid of Boone and Shannon and started going in circles (and circles and circles) with no fucking point whatsoever and no end in sight, there was really no sense in wasting any more time on the worthless, putrid show.

Similarly with The OC, once they got rid of Alex and Marissa was able to reclaim her throne as the reigning Queen of Suck with no intention of being likable ever again, there was no incentive to keep watching.

Then again, at least The OC is able to be fluffy and entertaining. Believe me when I say that I’d rather watch the worst episode of The OC than the best episode of Lost any day. But whatever.

Anyway...

So long Marissa. I’ll sort of miss you. I hope the tide turns a lot in heaven.