Snap Judgment: Arrrrrr the studios scared to release anything good now?

Well, since that Pirate movie is still doing killer business (even beating out made-up James Cameron movies), this isn't exactly a weekend of major new releases. But I'll do my best to deflect what there is so you can feel good about going back and seeing a barnacle-clad Stellen Skarsgård again.

You, Me and Dupree (comedy, rated PG-13, directed by Anthony & Joe Russo, written by Mike LeSieur)

How does the Owen Wilson who co-wrote Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums reconcile himself with the Owen Wilson who does stuff like this? Does he have a spiked whip in his linen closet that he uses to self-flagellate after cashing his 8-figure checks (perhaps donating a reasonable portion thereof to, say, Cure Autism Now or another equivalently chic and non-Scientology-based charity)? Does he IMDB his kid brother to remind himself that at least he's steered clear of any McG-tainted enterprises thus far? Does he schedule a night out with Vince Vaughn so he can go to sleep satisified in his continued evasion of The Bloat? Does he give his cook the day off and make his own grilled cheese sandwich just to feel like a regular guy? I don't know, but somehow he does it.


The Groomsmen (comedy, rated R, written/directed by Ed Burns)

Sure, 10 years ago Ed Burns didn't mind when his movies flew under the radar and only got noticed by the hip, urban Hefeweizen-drinking crowd; but now that he's put in his time acting in big studio flicks to pay the bills and get noticed, I'd think he'd be a little put off that even a relatively star-studded affair like this one is still being marginalized into an LA/NY-only release. Or maybe not! Maybe he wants this level of cachet. Perhaps he fancies the directing career of, say, John Sayles, except without the occasional uncredited rewrites of Schwarzenegger movies. Although it remains to be seen if Sayles would ever work with Matthew "Always brings his own script" Lillard or John "Oh crap, I left my subtlety in the car" Leguizamo.



Little Man ("comedy", rated PG-13, directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans, written by Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, and Marlon Wayans)

You might think this is the kind of movie for which I started Snap Judgment in the first place. You might think I anticipate the release of movies like this with bated breath for weeks in advance, drooling over the trashing potential they're destined to have. You would be horribly, horribly wrong. I take no more pleasure in the release (not just the release, the existence) of this film than I do in biting my tongue hard enough to draw blood while I'm eating a zucchini walnut muffin. Sure, I might make some kind of joke about that after the fact, but do I in any way hope that it will happen before it does? N. O. So all I will say about this, before I turn away from it and do my best to forget about it forever, is that HE DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A FUCKING BABY!