America's Next Top Basketball Game

We all know Cycle 7 of America’s Next Top Model left much to be desired. I lasted two whole blog posts before giving up, never to be heard from again...until now! Of course, then I wondered why we stopped being invited to the conference calls. The horror!

No offense to Caridee and all, because she seems like a totally fun and nice girl who battled skin disease to come out on top, but it was definitely one of the most boring, shark-jumping finales in the history of the show. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming the girls in any way. I am, however, totally blaming Tyra, her fucking insane mammoth god-complex and the absence of writers. And what was the deal with the below the waist juices and underwear smearing. This show has a very long way to go before they achieve Silence of the Lambs status! But, whatever, Tyra...go hand out more Vaseline or something.

My pick for this cycle was definitely twin Michelle, which of course meant that she didn’t stand a chance. All hope that I’d actually pick the winner vanished after Cycle 4, when Naima was chosen over Kahlen (yeah, don’t get me started!), and it’s been a downhill luge race from there. In my defense, I will say that the fact that none of my favorite girls have ever won is definitely a blessing in disguise because they don’t get locked into crappy contracts, doomed to do stupid Cover Girl ads and kiss Tyra’s ass for the next calendar year. So, go Elyse, Shandi, Ann, Kahlen, Kyle, Mollie Sue/Joanie and Michelle. Shut up! If guys can spend countless hours playing fantasy football, then I’m entitled to my Top Model All Stars. But, I digress.

Michelle was very wrongly booted in Episode 11, when it came down to Twin vs. Twin, which I was hoping would happen in the finale, but fuck you, Tyra. Clearly, this meant that we needed more Michelle and living in LA, you’re definitely afforded some wonderfully cult-ish/stalkerish opportunities...like, say, schlepping out to Pasadena City College on a Wednesday night with your best friend to catch the Pasadena-Cypress game.

After scarfing down some falafels in record time, we hopped on the 134 and headed east. Traffic wasn’t too bad, especially once we passed the Explorer that was completely engulfed in flames like something out of a movie. We knew it was sure to be a kick ass night after that...and it was!

Parking at the college was a buck...learn, UCLA, learn! Tickets for the game were five bucks and we got floor seats because we’re awesome...and because there were maybe like 20 spectators total. But, for the sake of argument, we’ll go with the former. We even managed to get there in time to do our annual Pop Whore/BFF gift exchange.

The game went something like this...Cypress struggled out of the gates, eventually tying up the game and then falling behind again 35-32 at the half. But late in the second half, Pasadena blew the game wide open and Cypress lost 93-71. Here's the official recap.

At any rate, I think I was obviously much more into the event than Nick was, because he had sort of given up on Top Model this season. Well, that, and the fact that he hadn’t written GO TWIN! on his chest with a black Sharpie like I had, waiting for the just right moment to flash my own twins.

One definite highlight was when the ball went flying right into my foot and I got to throw it back to the ref. Yep, I touched the ball...and haven't washed my hand since. If that's not hot, I don't know what is. (If you would like to touch my unwashed hand, stalk me over at MySpace to make arrangements.)

And before I get too graphic, here are some pictures...

Please keep in mind that gym lighting and my tiny Canon with limited zoom are not exactly ideal for sports photography. As always, click to enlarge...


This one is my favorite -


Towards the end of the game, Michelle definitely looked my way. She was either thinking, “hey, who’s the cute girl in the black sweater with the camera?” or “who the fuck is that crazy stalker chick who won’t stop taking pictures of me? Does she plan on making a fucking flipbook or something?"

Yeah, I think we’ll go with the latter on this one.

So, Michelle, in the really off chance you’re reading this, please know it was strictly out of love and for the blog. Then again, “it’s for the blog” is the 2006 equivalent of “her mouth was saying ‘no,’ but her eyes were saying ‘yes.'"

Good thing the year is almost over.