Clarkson!

Damn it, Kelly. I thought our brief but sordid pop-affair would end with the catchy hooks of "Since You've Been Gone."

Remember how we spooned in the afterglow of Laguna Beach and promised that we'd never, ever see each other again? Remember how I had to apologize to my iPod for a week? Well, shit. Now you've gone and done it again with "Behind These Hazel Eyes!"

Kelly, Kel, honeysugarbaby. If I may indulge: We started out friends. It was cool but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the irony.