Semi-Live Blogging: This Past Friday Edition

Hello children! Miss us? Yeah, we did too!

Nick and I podcasted this weekend and we should have that up for you pretty soon. In the meantime you have several options:

a.) Go to Girl On Girl Cooking and listen to two cutely hot girls discuss food and make sexually subversive comments

b.) Read our semi-live blogging from Friday.

c.) Do both.

Okay, good choice! Onwards through the fog...

8:10: Nick pops up via IM window. [Yeah, I'm always butting in like that.] I say hey and tell him how I’m working on a spreadsheet. I can’t spell either, but it’s Friday and I don’t care. Nick skips the regular chit-chat and goes straight to business with a ever so transitional “we have to finish that post.” We discuss.

8:14: Of course, sidetracking is never too far off...

Eti: Was there a new OC/Reunion last night?
Nick: Nope.
Eti: Ok, cool.
Nick: The universe is waiting for us to catch up.
Eti: I accidentally saw who got fired on Apprentice.
Nick: Fuck.
Eti: Yeah, oh well.
Nick: Don't tell me.
Eti But it's okay. I don't like anyone anyway. I'm freaking tired.

8:40: With that, the conversation diverts to our preferences with regard to pillow thickness. No, that’s not a euphemism, you dirty-minded bitches. We agree that we both like a certain thickness, and—seriously, SHUT UP!

8:45: Since (real) pillows are not the most interesting topic of conversation, we expostulate what movie we should go see this weekend. Nick and I are in agreement on “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.” Being huge fans of Shane Black’s box-office flop but superbly awesome “The Long Kiss Goodnight,” we decide that it will be a goldmine of future in-jokes and one-liners.

9:00: I go off on a rant about how much I hate Kenneth Turan of the LA Times and how he trashed “Fight Club” and hates all the good movies and raves about the shitty ones. Nick tells me that the Village Voice reviews suck even harder. [Seriously, they do. Do you need to use French New Wave terminology when you're discussing a Julia Roberts movie?] Whatever, the L.A. Times sucks donkey ass anyway. We then agree that it sucks that more people can’t be like us. But you know, that’s life.

8:45: And we’re back to the Julie Powell post. We discuss the conclusion and linkage.

9:00: Aaaaaand.....scene!

9:20: Nick posts. However, both of us having contributed to it, the first paragraph looks like Nick is discussing himself in the third person. Awesome. [Nick only does that when he's trying to sound important. Did it work?]

9:22: I’m now attempting to read the Village Voice review of “Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang” and I tell Nick about seeing a hilarious ad for a porn site that uses 3 Gummi Bears in a compromising position. Suffice to say that I find it hot and strangely appetizing.

9:38: Conversation shifts to America’s Next Top Model. We’re on par for the usual stuff. Promos for next week’s episodes, who’s leaving the show, who’s stupid, grapes, etc... Then to Veronica Mars, but only briefly. We know someone is leaving the show mid-season, but who will it be? Hmmmm...

9:50: I send Nick an article about Ken trying to get Barbie back. I add that Barbie looks disgustingly like every girl on Laguna Beach. Ken, on the other hand, has been looking gay since the seventies. Nick is in total agreement.

9:51: It is brought to our attention that searching Blogger for “Pop Whore” doesn’t turn out any results for our site. “WTF?” is the mutual response.

10:00: Of course, I then send Nick a picture of Halle Berry’s six toes. Because just when I thought I couldn’t dislike her any more, the universe finds a way to facilitate my disgust.

10:14: I tell Nick that I’m in need of some coffee. Nick thinks drinking his coffee black with nothing in it means he’s tough shit, and he’s taken to calling any coffee that I drink WAMC (White-Ass Milky Coffee). [Actually, I’m pretty sure Eti made up that phrase herself. Because she’s totally aware of how shameful it is.] Whatever. I politely ask him if he’s going to get some coffee too. Nick, however, already has his coffee! Bastard. He’s broken the mid-morning IM coffee break routine. The plot thickens.

10:25: My boss calls in. I am away for almost an hour. Nick hides under his desk and rocks back and forth while I’m gone [don't forget to mention the thumbsucking].

11:18: I’m back. Nick tells me that when he changed the template on our page, he put in the logo and got rid of the text, “so therefore, the actual words "pop whore" don't really appear in the title.” Nick then cleverly adds keywords to the “alternate text” so that search engines can better help guide lost souls to our brilliance.

11:35: Nick tries in vain to explain his coffee faux pas, but I’ve heard enough. Coffee anecdotes resume.

12:18: We then get serious and discuss life, work and career goals. Quite the rarity, but it has been known to happen. Of course, discussions like this always seem to offshoot us towards Nick Hornby. We proceed to discuss “High Fidelity” and how Rob is telling people that it’s not what you are like that matters, but rather what you like. We’re in agreement that it sets up a good base.

12:47: Nick goes to lunch. I eat at my desk.

1:12: I finish lunch. I am bored. I must entertain myself.

1:13: Hmmm. Time for some e-mails and a Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi. That’s the stuff.

1:55: Nick’s back.

2:03: I tell Nick all about the past hour. Specifically, about how the new Swiss Army knives come with a built in one gig thumb drive. Well, of course, you’re now paying $160.00 for a pocket knife. Wow! What a useful gadget perfectly suited for camping AND business trips, especially when you go through airport security ["Aw, man...all my good porn was on that knife!"].

2:25: Nick has to schlep some interviewee girl to the UCLA campus. Schlep, Nick, schlep.

2:27: I’m alone again and left to my own devices. The day begins to die down.

3:01: Nick’s back from his schlep.

3:06: Nick and I discuss stupidity. There’s really nothing more I can say about that without sounding stupid [too late...snaps!], so I’ll just leave it at that.

3:38: Nick tells me about a knife skills class he’s going to next Saturday and do I wish to partake in the dangerous sharp-itude? Let’s see. Didn’t Nick just pass up The Like concert on Wednesday? Why yes he did! Enough said. [Ouch, dude. I told you I was going to be busy trying to meet girls.

3:39: No worries, I will find a worthy replacement.

4:09: Not too much to report. My, how the day has died down.

4:11: My boss calls in again. The craziness is resurrected and I am instructed to write a threatening letter.

4:27: I proceed to fax twenty five copies of said letter to its intended recipients. Man, I’ve always wanted to do that. Awesome!

4:39: The madness continues. Why must people call me to annoy me on a Friday evening? Don’t people have better things to do?

5:07: I’m still at work. Nick goes home.

5:17: I’m still at work with no one to talk to and work to do.

5:31: I’m still at work.

5:37: I pack up and take off. What an anti-climactic ending.