Clarkson! The Trifecta

Alas, my delightfully grotesque threesome with Kelly Clarkson and Laguna Beach gets even more debauched!

Oh, shut up! You know you love it as much as I do!

As my moving plans fell through last night, I found myself sitting in the now-empty living room of my apartment with nothing but a La-Z-Boy, ridiculously ghetto tv set-up and a singular Ikea light shining the way as I dug through the remnants of my TiVo.

After getting up to begin work on what was to become my seven DVD back-up of iTunes, I sat back down and watched the kids of Laguna Beach do what they do best; bitch and moan mindlessly while flitting around each other’s ridiculously large homes. And after 22 strangely fascinating minutes of Stephen coming back to town for Valentine’s Day, Jessica and Jason breaking up and Kristin being somewhat (gulp) likeable (ew?), there was good old Kelly closing out the show with “Behind These Hazel Eyes!”

Touche, Laguna Beach! I totally trumped you Clarkson-style!

Kelly, honey, seems that just yesterday, you were a part of me. I used to stand so tall. I used to be so strong. Kelly, baby, I told you everything, opened up and let you in. Kelly, for hating you, I blame myself.

Oh, and as far as Laguna Beach goes, next week’s episode looks awesome. See you on Monday night, baby!