Homeownership and you

PSST! Hey, you!



Are you a mildly famous actor on a show that was once great but long ago joined the species Jumpus Sharkus?

Tired of being upstaged by your castmates who are always making news by getting engaged or speaking fluent Swedish or ditching their Thetans?

On the verge of leaving teenhood behind, and with it your scores of screaming pubescent mall girls? (You know, twenty is, like, adult.)

Never quite made the crossover into movies, or even Punk'd?

Well, things may look bad, but we have a solution guaranteed to win you back all the attention you've been craving.

For at least a few minutes.